Curate of Curiosities

Volume 2 is called "Love Is Nice" or something to similar effect.

The title for volume 3 seems to be a play on the phrase "tout est bon dans le cochon" (everything has its use), so I'm not sure about the best way to render it in English. "Every Guy Has His Use?"

The description for Volume 2 is pretty much identical to that of the Best Of album, so instead, here's the description for volume 3:

Life is sometimes cruel. Especially when you're a teenager who looks several pounds too heavy and is suffering the torments of a first love. It's not always easy to explain your problems to a mother who's very busy with a hyper-cool Brazilian musician. Nor is it easy to find your place in school when your physique attracts easy jokes. Fortunately, Tamara has her means and a particularly resourceful and clever eight and a half year old stepsister, who's always ready to give her infallible advice...

Eight and a half? Last volume, she was seven and a half. Has it been a year already?

So, from reading the first album of this comic, I can tell you that while it's a pretty standard tween comic so far, it's nowhere near as awful as I expected it to be. However, so far we've yet to see the real highlight of this series, the thing that sets it far, far apart from most other comics and graphic novels aimed at its demographic.

What we're about to see is what happens when your country has never implemented a Comics Code.

That's right, we're about to explore the overtly sexual side of Franco-Belgian comics. Keep in mind that this comic is rated for ages 9 and up.

But before we start, let's have a look at how things have changed between volume 1 and volume 2.

First off, the character designs.

Both of our main characters look a bit...how do I put this, cuter, than they were in the first album.

The only other character of note here is Chico. Back when he first appeared, I thought he looked like a hobo, and I'm pleased to tell you that this is no longer the case here.

Now, let's begin the second volume.

Here's how the very first page goes.

So, Tamara and Yoli are in the schoolyard, when Tamara wonders, "You know, I'd like to know the difference between boys and girls...Um, not like that." At least, not for the time being.

"Easy!" Then she turns to some girl who happens to be there and asks, "What do you think of when I mention love?" She goes "Aaah, Prince Charming, candlelit dinners!"

Then she turns to a guy, and he goes "Sex! Boobies! Awooga!" In front of a seven-year-old, mind you.

And that should be it, or so she thinks. Unfortunately, no one ever told her that it's not just boys who are constantly thinking about sex.

There's one thing that I've forgotten to mention last time. Remember how I said earlier that she was boy-crazy? What I actually meant by that was, she's horny to an ungodly degree. Sure, this volume's title suggests that it's about love, but there's no hiding what she really wants.

Of course, her sister is well aware of her thirst for the D, and faithfully helps her on her quest (to an extent).

While it briefly pretends to be a normal kids' comic, by giving us a page about Tamara refusing to smoke, almost immediately after this, there's a page revolving around the girls' parents having sex. And then after that, there are two pages in a row about a seven-year old girl wanting breasts. To the point of asking her parents for plastic surgery.

It's pretty appropriate that the artist's first name is Christian, because this comic desperately needs Jesus!

But enough moralizing, it's off to the beach! Surely nothing hilariously off-putting could happen there...

"Congratulations, when's the baby due?"

I guess it was only a matter of time before someone made this incredibly obvious joke.

And if you thought that she was done with these weird weight-loss plans, then you sorely underestimate the creators ability to milk a premise. How do you think that this comic managed to run for the better part of two decades?

We've got someone suggesting a diet based on eel oil.

Sure, there's the fact that this plan in particular will give you a Pixar mom figure, but is that really such a bad thing?

And then, there's one that she sees on TV, based on pork chops and sponsored by the best butchers in the country. But there's a twist--the diet consists of not eating them!

But lest we forget, we're dealing with someone who is so fond of her paprika chips that she vacuums them straight from the floor.

There is one major thing that sets this volume apart from the previous one. The last eight pages of this album make up an entire own mini-story, something we haven't seen since the very start of volume 1. It's framed as a bedtime story Chico's telling Yoli, who a) is still sleeping in Tamara's room, just in case you forgot, and b) is uninterested in listening to just another baby story. Here's how it goes: Once upon a time, Santa was making his yearly rounds, when he came across a sleepwalking woman named Valentine, and immediately fell in love with her. Even after going back to the North Pole, he found himself unable to stop thinking about her.

A year passed, and next Christmas, he came back to confess his love. For some ungodly reason, she's less than impressed to see him, and wants him to come back again in a week. Naturally he cannot, so its another year of waiting for the two of them.

Yet another year passed, and once again, he came to see Valentine. But this time around, she was nowhere to be seen. What had happened? Had she ditched him at the very last moment? Nope, she was just about to sleepwalk right off the roof of the apartment building. But he managed to catch her in his sleigh. And they lived happily ever after, the end.

Now, the story was alright, but it could have used some saucy details, wink wink.

Now, on to volume 3.

First off...we need to talk about that cover. It was one of the first things I saw from this comic, and let me tell you, when part of my first impression of something is an off-model version of its main character looking down some unaware guy's pants, that just makes me want to both jump right in and tread as warily as possible.

You've heard of Troll Physics, right? Well, here's Troll Dating.

Step 1: Find a place where guys hang out. GameStop, for instance.

Step 2: Put on the most alluring outfit you can find (which appears to just be your normal outfit, but smaller)

Step 3: Somehow attract a guy with your outfit.

Step 4: Trap him with the rope that you set up right outside the GameStop.

Step 5: Have fun!

And just in case that was just a bit too out there, here's a different plan--buttplug-shaped candy!

Shut up, it actually works...well, right up till you get cavities, that is.

There's not a whole lot to say about this volume; a lot of this is more of the same.

In case you somehow forgot what comic you were reading, here's another joke about Tamara being weighed. Once again, 83 kilograms. And here's another where Wagner just straight-up compares her to a Rubens painting. (Though, depending on your point of view, that could actually be a compliment.)

And let's just say that this ends with Wagner looking like a Picasso.

Of course, this comic still delivers when it comes to the horny stuff. Here we have a page that's about Tamara spelling out a naughty seven-letter word is Scrabble, which Yoli thinks is a different naughty word.

Oh, and you remember how in the last album, you had someone thinking that Tamara was pregnant? Well, Zidrou thought that joke was so good, it was worth reusing here. Except this time it's even better, these two old ladies imagine her getting seduced by the devil!

Speaking of, the time has finally come for Tamara's mom to tell her about the facts of life. To be more specific, about contraceptives. Granted, it's incredibly unlikely that she'll ever be in a position that she'll actually need them, but better safe than sorry.

But then, Yoli pops in and tells her that there's no need to worry, because this whole time, she's been using a special contraceptive with a 100% success rate!

What is this miracle contraceptive she's talking about? Why, it's just her habit of sitting in front of the comupter all day! You can't exactly get AIDS from chatting online, after all (No seriously. She actually says this practically word-for-word).

Having your own stepsister tell you, in so many words, that you'll never get laid. How is she ever going to recover from something like that? And more to the point, isn't this what she's supposed to be helping her with?

Anyways, just like in volume 2, there's another set of pages where Tamara tries to get a guy in someplace with water--a water park this time around.

She nearly drowns.

Then there's one where she is briefly convinced not to shave her legs. Unfortunately, this page also features a shirtless seven-year-old girl, so I can't show it to you.

Another page has her walking the neighbor's dog. Guys like girls who are good with animals, right?

Notice how the dog in the very last panel has its backside pressed up against the other dog? That's how dogs have sex. That's right, this comic for preteens has a dog getting its back blown out on panel. Sure, the target audience won't immediately pick up on this, but still!

But enough about that. Let's check on how Wagner's been doing outside of showing his appreciation for classical art.

Oh...he's selling his classmates' nudes. And now Tamara is trying to buy a disk off him. But it looks like the disk was empty. Say what you will about his tactics, he's definitely got hustle.

Next page, he's roasting her like he normally does, but she isn't as offended as usual...

"You know, Freud once said, 'Agression is the prelude to sexual relations.'"

"The hell are you talking about?"

"What I mean is, I know the reason you're like this. It's because you secretly want to have sex with me."

The weird thing is, it actually works. But even if he does actually have feelings for her, it probably won't go that far anyways. I hope it doesn't go that far.

Now, here's the last two pages.

So, Tamara is talking with some guy named Simon online. Unfortunately, he's only seen her from the shoulders up, so he has no idea about her actual physique.

If he plays sports, that means he likes round things, right?

Unwilling to argue with her sister's logic, she goes to the park to meet him, and the first thing she notices is that Simon looks awfully short for a basketball player...

He's in a wheelchair. Congratulations, both of you managed to catfish each other.

But plot twist: they both seem to be okay with it regardless. All's well that ends well, right?

And that's the end of volume 3. Now, back when you could still purchase this from Google Play, when you reached the end of this volume, the site would recommend continuing with volume 11. Obviously, I'm not intersted in skipping seven whole volumes, especially since there was an ebook with material from the first 6 volumes hosted on Google Play to begin with.

I have something else in mind going forward, anyway.