Curate of Curiosities

Fun fact: Whenever you load a save that was at the title card of a new episode, for some reason, it starts you off at the beginning of the previous episode!

So where we left off, Em suddenly showed up at Sasse's school, thereby allowing a few of the questions surrounding them to be cleared up.

You're not even at school yet, why on earth are you expecting Em to be here? And why on earth would you even consider having a crush on them?

And we're back in the crossfire between Abby and the self-proclaimed anti-bullying club. It looks like Em isn't the only person that Abby spread rumors about. Okay, I'm really starting to regret siding with her earlier.

But wait...what about Em supposedly shoplifting? Wouldn't they have anything to say about that?

And now everyone hates each other. Like I care. So I guess we can assume that there was nothing to the shoplifting rumors after all.

So this was a waste of time; let's go tell Em that.

How about no? I kind of have classes to get to...I think.

For whatever reason, we have the option to ask them if they're asking us on a date. To my knowledge, they're not actually romanceable, so why is the game giving me so many options to hit on them?

But it looks like our efforts have borne fruit, as Abby is willing to tell us why she and Em split up. It's because her mom didn't want them to be together Why do I feel like whoever's writing this has some issues to work out? And anyways, this still doesn't explain the whole shoplifting thing.

So at lunch, Em takes us behind the bleachers and pulls out their ukelele. You know, that same instrument that's played in the main menu. The same instrument that I now associate with YouTuber apologies. In case you don't know what I'm getting at, Em has a musical number. A voiced musical number.

The song is sung by one Tamara Weber-Fillion, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Em. So, we have a character who is most likely a self-insert for this singer, that the middle-school-aged protagonist is explicitly given the option to flirt with. Remember, this is a wholesome visual novel for preteens.

So anyways, here's the song. It's...something.

Of course, two of the three options we get shill them and the song.

On to gym class. Em is there too, and now that we're aware of the possiblility that they're a self-insert, their presence here is all the more unsettling.

But maybe I'm overthinking this visual novel made for preteens.

So we make up with Turkeyhawk. That was easy.

Oh riiiight, we haven't heard from Nora in a bit, let's check on her.

When did you get this needy, Sasse? I feel that some of Turkeyhawk may be rubbing off on you. Can't you see when someone just needs some time off?

And now, despite the fact that nothing good has come of getting involved in Abby and Em's business, he's going to try to get them on good terms again. Don't you ever get tired of playing hero?

Are you trying to hit on me? Sorry, but in case you didn't know, I'm already spoken for.

Actually no. If they're already on poor terms with each other it's not your place to interfere. You really need to break that habit of yours of sticking your nose in other people's issues!

As expected, it doesn't work. Instead, we're reminded to stay out of their business, as well as of the fact that this game really needs a spell checker.

Haaaah. Isn't it wonderful when a game tries to be relatable to its players? Especially when you give a line that would sound more appropriate coming from a disaffected 20-something to a middle schooler!

The person I'm dating is actually the principal's lackey. Wonderful. But hey, at this point in the game, it's too late to back out.

Especially since right after is our rendezvous in the same place where they asked us to the dance back in episode 3.

No Sasse, this is your big romantic(?) moment. This is no time for your dirty rhymes.

But it doesn't really matter, they're impressed by our attempts at poetry that they try to kiss us. Obviously, we can't do it through the costume, so a kissing scene is out of the question.

Instead, we get this. Despite the fact that we have the option to date some guy in a bird costume, it's nice to know that the makers managed to avoid the wink-wink-nudge to the player that you expect from a lot of visual novels these days.

But enough about that, it's time to hang out with Em, because this game hasn't shoved them in your face enough.

Seriously, what is with all these flirt options!? We know that you're a dead ringer for that one singer, so this is getting really creepy!

Guess who shows up but Abby? And she's here to apologize, completely without Sasse's input.

So there's that. The two of them have made up, so I no longer have to hear about either of them or any mysteries that they were part of.

But that doesn't mean that we're done with their life story! There was this one kid at their old school who was kind of a loner and a nerd, who drew something that got her in big trouble with the school.

So if she were expelled, then it's not likely that she would be able to transfer to another school, given the circumstances, so the most reasonable conclusion to make would be that she's...

Uh oh. Looks like we've got another mystery on our hands, and one even closer to home than the last time.