Curate of Curiosities

First Steps


Call it a hunch, but I don't think that Cornwall would mind these games being totally forgotten.

While I did mention on the main page that Flash is no longer supported by mainstream browsers, there are a number of different ways to access the vast amount of Flash content created over the years. The one I'll be using is Flashpoint, a project that has been active since 2018, following Adobe's announcement that it would cease support for the platform. Of course, it also hosts most of Cornwall's Flash games (under the name Fig Hunter Games)

Cornwall's long, illustrious Flash game career began with the release of Super Mega Extreme Dragon Flier 2004 X, released in May 2004.

It's a side scrolling shooter where you play as, of course, a dragon, who breathes fire on all the pigeons crossing its path. That's pretty much all I can say about it, since, as you can clearly see from the above video, I can't be bothered to play past the first level.

While at first glance, this seems to be nothing more than a bare-bones shooter, it is actually a useful time capsule of not only its creator, but also the Flash community as a whole. I'm sure that some of you reading this went through a phase where you thought dragons were the coolest thing ever.

A few months after releasing SMEDF200X, he released his first Flash RPG, Cultling Quest.

It's only slightly more developed than his first game, but not by a whole lot. You play as a party of cultists, out to spread the word of Yalort to the unwashed masses.

If you've ever played Mardek before, the name Yalort should be familiar to you. To put it briefly, he is the chief deity worshipped in that game's setting.

There's a drawing of him on his current site, in case you really wanted to know what he looked like.

Now, how is this game a product of both its time period and its creator's mentality? In the starting screen alone, you have an NPC with what's clearly an edited Final Fantasy sprite referencing the All Your Base meme.

In the same screen, we meet the creator's avatar.

Anyways, we're tasked with killing a hobo in an alleyway for some reason that no one bothers to explain.

This game is so unfinished, that even the map tiles are broken

I think now's a good time to bring up the combat. It's typical turn based Active Time Battle affair. The fact that multiple characters can have their battle menus show up at the same time reminds me of Chrono Trigger.

So we face the hobo, fight him for a while, and then the game freezes. No really, this happens every time I try to fight him. I'm not sure if it's an emulation issue or the game's just that busted.

Cronwall's next game was Adventures of Boris. He claimed that this is his first serious game.

All you need to know about it is that it was his first attempt at real time combat, and that this is what happened when I tried to fight a random orc.

Next up, Rise of Yalortism, released in January 2005.

It's about as unfinished as his last Yalort-centered game. Nowhere near as many random game freezes, though.

Most of the characters don't have dialogue portraits, though.

And sometimes this happens when you load your save file.

The game starts with you waking up and getting suddenly attacked by a cultist in your own home. Guess what you do immediately afterwards.

That's right, you head to the local monastery, and dedicate yourself to the god worshipped by the guy who attacked you, of course!

Henry Porter? Really now?

Anyways, you end up becoming a cultist by answering a few questions about the Yalortian religion.

To learn more about this religion, you need to study their sacred scriptures, which read like what would happen if Monty Python wrote the Book of Genesis.

Bizarrely, Christianity also seems to exist in this setting, and is at odds with the Yalortian religion. Now, if memory serves, Cornwall was still a teenager when he made these games, and, from personal experience, I can tell you that it's not uncommon to take issue with one's religious upbringing at that age, so it's perfectly understandable that he would make this parody of organized religion.

After successfully becoming a cultling, you are tasked with going to Crescent Beach to do the basic RPG task of dealing with some bandits.

But for whatever reason, you get in a random encounter as soon as you enter the area.

And then after that, you're blocked off by the level collision, preventing you from continuing. Though, knowing this game, it's unlikely that there's anything of note past this point.

Now, that was all of Cornwall's earliest, most blatantly unfinished games. Next time, we'll be having a look at what happened when he started tackling projects with greater scope, in an effort to imitate his childhood RPGs.